Five Nights At Freddino's: Epicness Evolved is a joke page, which means it's not meant to be taken seriously at all. Joke pages are typically silly dumb ideas that'd never work or ideas that aren't meant to be taken seriously at all
Five Nights At Freddino's: Epicness Evolved is a RPG-style game by the Epic Armada division of the Men In Black Corporation, set in Freddino Fozerilli's Pizza Chain as Freddino and his somewhat-trustworthy friends battle his brother.
It was an evening in Freddino's when he started to begin a conquest to rule the universe. Though, his brother, Golden Freddino, already ruled the universe, so he needed to find Cranky Kong and hear his new wisdom of how to beat Golden Freddino. GF found out, and sent an army of paper plate men to stop him from ruining his empire of drugs and MLG Gaming.
But first, he needed to get good to see Cranky and get the new wisdom. In order to do so, he must find his friends, Withered Fooxy, Chuca, and Toy Freddino. Once you get good, just before he is noscoped by Golden Freddino, he gets the advice. "Gut buttur".
So he must find three people; The Cook, Yasdnil, and Wierd Al Yankovic. Sadly, Wierd Al was shot by Toy Fooxy, so you must destroy him. Horribly. When you win, Wierd Al joins your party as a fricking ghost for some reason.
Punch the enemy in the face. Does 12-30 damage and can cause bleeding. Increases in damage by 5 every level you put for this move.
Throw logic out the window by throwing a bolt of lightning at your enemy. Costs 12 Magic and increases in damage by 10 every level this move gets. Does 30-35 damage.
Take some pills and relax while your health regenerates. Can be used once every 5 turns and lasts 2 turns. One turn is added for every level you gain for this move.
Shoot enemies in the face. Does 10-14 damage every shoot, and can last for 1-5 shots. Every level you gain for this move increases the minimum and maximum amount of shots by 1.
Slap an enemy repeatedly. Does 5-16 damage, can hit 4-10 times, and increases in damage by 5 and in minimum hits by 2 every level you give this move.
Fly away like a chicken and peck out the enemy's eyes. Does 12-32 damage and increases by 6 every level you put for this move.
Flee like a coward, and lose all XP from a fight. Has a 50% chance to work and cannot be leveled up.
Pierce eardrums with a ear-splitting scream. Costs 3 Magic, does 16-55 damage, and increases in damage by 12 when leveling up.
Fooxy's one move, he uses a flashlight to burn himself for 10 health, which heals allies. Heals 32-56 and increases by 10 for each level this move gets.
Porking Pig, the stupid pile of bacon bits, can be found within Fooxy's Coove. He will wreck you if you don't have skills, so you must be skilled in order to defeat the pork monster. If you win the fight, you get the Meat Cleaver for personal use and shaving like a boss.
-This game had one teaser; it showed Porking Pig with the caption "FNAF: EE FOLKS".