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Balloon Boy

Inventing 2!

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Dontwakethebaby
"Ssshh. Don't wake the baby..."

This article is Not Safe For Work. The reason is Gore and it is highly advised you look at this page if you believe you should.


Hello! I'm glad you came back for another lesson. Today we will be discussing how to create a delicious protein shake! Do you have your equipment ready?

  • Now, before we even begin making a delicious protein shake, we first need our ingredients. So, take one of the spring lock animatronics from the backroom, and go inside. Do not breathe or touch the spring locks at any time.
  • Now that you are inside the suit, look for a strong and healthy child. Lure the child into the backroom.
  • It's time for what you've been waiting for. Escape your suit, and reveal yourself to the child.
  • Use something, such as your hands, and murder the child.
  • Now, quickly run out of the pizzeria, and go to your place of residence.
  • Remove any clothing from the child.
  • Next, it's time to skin the child alive. Skin him until we have nothing but muscle.
  • Now that the muscles are exposed, use a knife and remove the muscles from the bones. Keep the skeleton as a trophy, if you wish.
  • Now, wash the muscles. We don't want to get any infections.
  • Now that you have done that, please squeeze the blood out of the muscles. Use a cup to catch it.
  • Now add blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, and one cup of chocolate/strawberry/banana powder.
  • Now, put everything in a blender.
  • Wait a few minutes. Open the blender when you're ready.
  • Enjoy!

Well, now you have a delicious, nutritious, protein shake! But... now we want a meal to go with that shake. Well, let's learn how to do that!

  • Now, first off, we want to get ingredients! Take a spring lock animatronic from the backroom and climb inside. Do not breathe or touch the spring locks at any time.
  • Next, reveal yourself to the child. Knock him out, and do not kill him yet.
  • Quickly run out of the pizzeria with the knocked out child.
  • Once you have ran to your place of residence, wake the child up. For two weeks, feed the child six times a day. Breakfast, snack, Lunch, snack, Dinner, and a snack.
  • At midnight on the 14th day, murder the child. You can do it slowly and painfully, or quick and painless, your choice!
  • Now, it's time to remove any clothing from the child.
  • Next, take a knife and skin the child alive until there is nothing but muscle.
  • Remove the muscle, until you get to the ribcage.
  • Yank the liver, stomach, heart, and kidney out.
  • Now, go to the skull. Crack the skull open and yank the brain out.
  • It's time for you to do this yourself! Cook it any way you like. Stir fry, curry, fried, anyway you want!
  • Now that you have done that, put it on a pizza.
  • Enjoy your nutritious protein shake with this organ pizza. Yum!



Credited to Odd Cheese with assistance by South Ferry

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