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Balloon Boy

Inventing 3

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Dontwakethebaby
"Ssshh. Don't wake the baby..."

This article is Not Safe For Work. The reason is Gore and it is highly advised you look at this page if you believe you should.


You've stuffed a child in a suit, you've eaten a delicious meat pizza, you've drank a nutritious protein shake. What now? How bout you give 'em a skeleton? A REAL skeleton! Well, you can't tell them it is a real skeleton though. Say it's a model, heh, heh. Let's learn how to give a skeleton as a gift.

Does everyone have their stuff ready?

  • First off, you need a donor. Go into the pizzeria and take one of the spring lock suits, and climb inside. Do not touch or breathe on the spring locks at any time.
  • Look for a child. Any child. Try and lure a child to the back of the pizzeria.
  • Shut the door.
  • Reveal yourself to the child, and murder the child. You can kill the child slowly or painfully, your choice.
  • Now, quickly run out of the pizzeria with the dead child.
  • Once you have ran to your place of residence, put the child on the table.
  • Use gloves and remove all of the clothing from the child.
  • Next, take a knife and skin the child alive.
  • Remove the muscles as well.
  • Once you have gotten to the skeleton, it's time for the main event.
  • Take a hammer and slowly break the ribcage.
  • Carefully remove all organs.
  • You may keep the organs for food later.
  • Take superglue and glue back the ribcage.
  • Carefully crack open the head.
  • Remove the brain.
  • Keep the brain for food if you wish.
  • Use superglue and glue the skull back together.
  • Now, after all this yanking, there should be lots of blood.
  • Take as much soap as you can, use bleach if needed, and remove the blood.
  • Now, get a large box and place the skeleton inside.
  • Mail it to the person you're giving it to. Say you gave them an awesome "model" skeleton! They'll love it....... hahahaha.

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