Note: This is a screenplay. Italics mean stage direction.
(The shot pans into a large attraction. The camera slowly zooms inside, revealing a dark room. Lights suddenly illuminate the area, revealing a burnt animatronic human boy, surrounded by Party Hats.)
PHANTOM BALLOON BOY: I AM A PATHETIC FAILURE IN THIS FORM.
(The shot zooms out of Phantom Balloon Boy, and the screen fades to black. The screen proceeds to fade back in, revealing a large, damaged, animatronic golden bunny.)
SPRINGTRAP: Devour my excrement undead party-wear.
(The screen fades in, and we see four party hats, in a row. Springtrap proceeds to scream at the party hats twice. The party hats retaliate, slightly damaging Springtrap. Springtrap takes a wire ship and proceeds whipping the first party hat in the row twice. The party hat faints. The other three hats begin screaming at Springtrap, critically damaging him. Springtrap eats a small pizza, and then proceeds to scream at the party hats, critically damaging two of them. The final party hat screams, Springtrap dodges. Springtrap finishes the remaining hat with a whip. Once all hats faint, Springtrap turns to Phantom Balloon Boy, and says:)
SPRINGTRAP: You.. how on earth do you even expect to get here? Your current form leaves so much to desire.
PHANTOM BALLOON BOY: F*CK YOU. F*CK YOUR LIFE. F*CK YOUR SOUL.
SPRINGTRAP: I don't even have a soul.
PHANTOM BALLOON BOY: EAT MY SH*T.
SPRINGTRAP: Watch your mouth. I cannot allow myself to be manipulated by you any further.
(Phantom Balloon Boy sighs, and puts his head down, puts it back up, and says:)
PHANTOM BALLOON BOY: I HAVE REALIZED THE ERROR OF MY WAYS. I HAVE NOW TURNED OVER A NEW LEAF.
SPRINGTRAP: Oh, okay. Anyway, devour my excrement, inhale, et. cetera. It's time to begin my night of fun.